I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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