well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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