Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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