That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
