i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
