hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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