bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize