Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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