How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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