When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
