the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
