Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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