there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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