I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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