Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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