uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
