He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize