I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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