he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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