no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
