There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you would pick up someone in the library
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
