How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
