Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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