Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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