I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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