She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He shit in the fireplace
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
