i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
