I hate your face
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
