I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize