so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
