How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize