Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
