I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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