Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
