stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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