i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
