Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
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i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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