hell yes lets make some ravioli
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
