dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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