Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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