Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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