Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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