Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
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