Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
