she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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