Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
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We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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