I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
