we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
