I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
