Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He uses pillows to masturbate.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
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