a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Randomize
