plz talk dirty to me
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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