Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
What happened to fro yo and sex?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
