I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
