Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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