Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
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I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
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I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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