I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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